Feb. 23rd, 2008

mountain_laurel: (Default)
i was already cutting it really, really close. i was going to have rent, but not enough to pay my car insurance or utility bills on time.

then my power got shut off. to get it turned back on cost enough to make rent impossible, plus they tacked an extra $80 onto next month's power bill for turning it back on. (in my defense, while i was way behind on the bill, i had arranged a payment plan with them, but my check arrived one day late so they canceled the payment plan -- and won't make another one with me -- and cut off my power.)

when the power came up, my desktop computer was dead. i'm pretty sure it's the power supply, so it may be fixable, but if it's the motherboard i'm pretty screwed.

mind you, the dead computer pales in comparison to my financial situation. i'll be shy of rent by about $100. even if i get $100 somehow to cover it, i will then have zero (0) dollars to spend on things like prescriptions, food, gas, doing laundry, and paying for car insurance and utilities until the 15th of next month.

obviously this is not a viable situation. i'm going to have to find a better job somehow, although i've been looking as hard as i can and while i've had a few leads, none have panned out. the current job just isn't enough hours or enough pay, though, so tomorrow i'll be applying at all the local grocery stores, costco, wal-mart, etc.; i might at least be able to get full time hours and another couple of bucks an hour. (it's a shame, because i actually LIKE the job i have.)

that will still be too late for march rent, however. i don't know what the fuck to do. i can't keep borrowing money, but i haven't got anywhere to go, nor could i afford to move anyway. and if i get evicted i'll NEVER get another apartment.

i just cannot fucking believe my life sucks this much. how the hell can it be taking this long to find a real job? how the hell can it be this difficult to even find a shit job that pays enough to cover my expenses? my rent is cheap, i haven't spent a penny on anything unnecessary for months (unless you count the $5 bottle of wine i bought for my birthday), i can't even afford to have a social life. so i spend every fucking night alone in my apartment watching downloaded asian TV -- which i can't do without my desktop computer.

i repeat, i cannot fucking believe my life sucks this much. it's not fucking FAIR. what did i do to deserve this?

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mountain_laurel

June 2010

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