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i dreamed i cleaned out my closet and drawers and got rid of things that didn't fit or that i knew i wouldn't wear again. i woke up filled with holy righteousness, so i went ahead and did it. a grocery bag filled, two and a bit drawers emptied. and suddenly i don't have such a preposterous excess of clothing.
i found a cute little outfit i bought in Hawaii when i was a size 12, and also the famous Nookie Skirt(tm), also a 12. even though i'm planning to donate all my other 12s, having admitted that hell is more likely to freeze over than i am to get back into them, i can't bear to part with these two items, which i'd tucked away in the back of a drawer for just that reason.
the scariest thing about looking at these was realizing how tiny they are, and how much smaller i must have been. and yet, i still thought i needed to lose more weight. (and yes, i know a size 12 isn't "tiny". but on my frame, trust me -- it's tiny. a couple of people actually told me at the time, "don't lose any more weight!") now i'm hovering between four and five sizes larger. this has got to stop.
i'm not sure which is more depressing -- that i'm so much bigger now, or that being so much smaller, and having all those cute clothes, i still couldn't meet any guys.
oh well. at least i made some more progress toward organization. also today: a visit with Branwen and Preia, a video to return, and putting up those shelves in the bathroom.
i found a cute little outfit i bought in Hawaii when i was a size 12, and also the famous Nookie Skirt(tm), also a 12. even though i'm planning to donate all my other 12s, having admitted that hell is more likely to freeze over than i am to get back into them, i can't bear to part with these two items, which i'd tucked away in the back of a drawer for just that reason.
the scariest thing about looking at these was realizing how tiny they are, and how much smaller i must have been. and yet, i still thought i needed to lose more weight. (and yes, i know a size 12 isn't "tiny". but on my frame, trust me -- it's tiny. a couple of people actually told me at the time, "don't lose any more weight!") now i'm hovering between four and five sizes larger. this has got to stop.
i'm not sure which is more depressing -- that i'm so much bigger now, or that being so much smaller, and having all those cute clothes, i still couldn't meet any guys.
oh well. at least i made some more progress toward organization. also today: a visit with Branwen and Preia, a video to return, and putting up those shelves in the bathroom.
