magnetic and pantsless

i cannot fucking live in a state that has bugs that fucking big. oh FUCK. it's bad enough i just had an epic battle with a goddamn 2" long palmetto bug that was CRAWLING ON MY FUCKING CEILING (and my cats were TOTALLY FUCKING USELESS, the fat spoiled bastards), i still don't know how to deal with the WASPS that are building a fucking NEST on my fucking bean trellis.

why my neighbors didn't call the police just now i don't know, because it took me a good fifteen minutes of shrieking and cowering to kill that fucking palmetto bug. when the hell did i get to be this afraid of bugs? what is my fucking problem?

how the fuck am i supposed to sleep when i know there might be more of those THINGS lurking in my FUCKING APARTMENT? why the FUCK can i not have all my doors HERMETICALLY SEALED?

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK!

ladies and gentlemen, i have Fucked Up.

i've just discovered that i have $15 left in the bank and $20 in my wallet, which is considerably less than the $1500 or so i thought i had. i'm working on figuring that out, but my guess is that i lost track of something, because i haven't exactly been at my best lately. then again, that's a lot of money to lose track of. my single optimistic molecule suspects the IRS. anyway, in the meantime i'm well and truly fucked.

how fucked? well. i need refills on at least $200 worth of medication. i just got a 48-hour notice on my electric bill, on which i owe $144. my cellphone (which is non-optional for job-hunting) will be turned off on the 31st unless i pay them $109. my rent ($1245) is due in four days. ( read more... or you could just cut to the chase. )

right. cut to the chase. i never in a million years thought i'd resort to this because i think it's mega-tacky, but i'm down to begging. please, help me out if you can afford to. i will consider it a loan, and you will be paid back as soon as humanly possible (which, obviously enough, won't be before the end of the year). if money is tight for you, please don't send it to me. the last thing i want is to put a burden on somebody else because of my own brain-fuckage.

PayPal is friend to children:

if you prefer snailmail or are looking for someone to stalk, shoot me an email and i'll send you the address.

to sweeten the pot, everyone who helps out will get a CD from me as a thank-you. (my first release in 15 years!) i haven't quite decided what to put on it, but you can expect a mix of live, studio, and basement tracks of assorted vintages. how many vintages depends on how many of the unlabeled tapes in my closet that i haven't listened to for ten years are still playable.

oh, and feel free to suggest names for the CD. i don't promise to use any of them, but your ideas never fail to amuse.