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Apr. 23rd, 2004
the downside
Apr. 23rd, 2004 12:57 pmthe bad effect of the not-drinking experiment is that i've almost completely lost my appetite at this point. i'm not hungry enough for lunch and barely enough for dinner; i have to really force myself to eat something when i start to feel lightheaded. i'm not sure what's up with that. it's certainly partly that i miss wine with my dinner, but the severe loss of appetite is just... weird. maybe it's a side effect of one (or more) of my medications that's been shut down somehow by an interaction with alcohol?
either way, i miss the food and the wine and the passionate intensity i generate when i'm cooking for myself. i feel weirdly empty. the first week i tried to cook nice dinners, but they seemed incomplete. this past week i pretty much gave up on cooking. i've eaten out more, and had frozen dinners and ramen, but without wine i really couldn't motivate myself to cook at all; the absence of wine with my dinner seems to have spoiled it for me. (and i suspect without artificially inducing the munchies, i'd be forcing down my dinner as well.)
i don't really know what to make of this whole thing. the dry mouth has been better, but that could be all the extra water i've been forcing myself to drink. hm, maybe that's got something to do with the appetite too. i seem to have to drink so much water to counteract the dehydrating effects of the antidepressant/mood stabilizer/anti-anxiety agent cocktail that it's a real chore. i'm drinking water all day long. i'm drinking when i'm not thirsty. i'm interrupting my work to go get more water, and to pee every fucking half-hour. i feel like every time i stand up i'm going to slosh. but trust me when i say there is a definite TMI-related symptom of insufficient fluids, other than dry mouth, if i don't keep chugging it down.
all this started around the time we added wellbutrin to the cocktail. i know wellbutrin can cause dry mouth &c.; i've taken it before. it was never this bad before. i expect it's interacting with something else that's making it much worse.
or maybe my kidneys are shutting down under the strain of all this medication. isn't that a pleasant thought?
anyway. it looks like i'll be doing more chatting with the doctor to figure this out. meanwhile, i guess i should go get some sort of lunch before the cafeteria closes. i'm not hungry, but my stomach is definitely empty.
either way, i miss the food and the wine and the passionate intensity i generate when i'm cooking for myself. i feel weirdly empty. the first week i tried to cook nice dinners, but they seemed incomplete. this past week i pretty much gave up on cooking. i've eaten out more, and had frozen dinners and ramen, but without wine i really couldn't motivate myself to cook at all; the absence of wine with my dinner seems to have spoiled it for me. (and i suspect without artificially inducing the munchies, i'd be forcing down my dinner as well.)
i don't really know what to make of this whole thing. the dry mouth has been better, but that could be all the extra water i've been forcing myself to drink. hm, maybe that's got something to do with the appetite too. i seem to have to drink so much water to counteract the dehydrating effects of the antidepressant/mood stabilizer/anti-anxiety agent cocktail that it's a real chore. i'm drinking water all day long. i'm drinking when i'm not thirsty. i'm interrupting my work to go get more water, and to pee every fucking half-hour. i feel like every time i stand up i'm going to slosh. but trust me when i say there is a definite TMI-related symptom of insufficient fluids, other than dry mouth, if i don't keep chugging it down.
all this started around the time we added wellbutrin to the cocktail. i know wellbutrin can cause dry mouth &c.; i've taken it before. it was never this bad before. i expect it's interacting with something else that's making it much worse.
or maybe my kidneys are shutting down under the strain of all this medication. isn't that a pleasant thought?
anyway. it looks like i'll be doing more chatting with the doctor to figure this out. meanwhile, i guess i should go get some sort of lunch before the cafeteria closes. i'm not hungry, but my stomach is definitely empty.