salvation

this afternoon, i have an appointment with a psychopharmacology specialist. he's even covered by my insurance. and much relief was felt by all.

funny how that worked out...

so since before i quit seeing my previous psychiatrist in early august, i'd been thinking that what i really needed was another 100mg of Wellbutrin daily -- at least as a temporary measure, to stabilize my mood, before contemplating other potential options. i brought this up with said psychiatrist at least once, but she was more interested in haranguing me about my imaginary drinking problem. i brought it up with the psychiatrist i saw last week, but she wasn't willing to authorize that without further discussion; having a 15-minute phone screening and an hour-long appointment wasn't enough to suit her. i brought it up with my GP, but she wasn't comfortable changing any of my psych meds because she didn't feel qualified to handle such a complex case -- which, admittedly, was ethically unassailable.

today, i saw a dedicated psychopharm guy. he makes around $500/hour. (thank god he's on my approved provider list.) he charges $40 just to talk to you on the phone. $75 if it takes as much as five minutes. you get the idea.

in 20 minutes, he told me what i'd known all along. "for now, let's just get you stabilized. why don't you go up 100mg on the Wellbutrin," he said, "and come back next week for a followup." he also tweaked the schedule on which i take a couple of my medications to optimize their effectiveness, in a way so obvious i'm stunned i never thought of it myself. oh, and by the way? he says it's perfectly fine for me to have wine with my dinner once or twice a week.

yes, i do believe this is going to work out very nicely.