do not look into laser with remaining eye

this news article made me laugh out loud because it's just SO comic-book supervillain. and not even a really good supervillain like Galactus or Dr. Doom or Magneto. no, this is the small time, baby. this is the sort of plan that might have been hatched by the 60s TV version of the Penguin. "QUACK quack quack! we'll shoot LASERS! in their EYES! QUACK quack quack!"

ah, the exuberance of youth

yessir, there ain't nothin' says fun like a barrel of possums.