girl with a pearl earring

today i am wearing my string of peach-colored pearls and matching earrings for the first time. mind you, they are cheap, lumpy, poor-quality pearls strung an inch apart on white thread, and cost me about $15. i've had them for years -- i bought them in the honolulu airport because they were just so pretty. naturally, they didn't go with anything i owned.

but today i am wearing fig-colored cords and a pink (!!!!) mesh top with a leaves-and-berries design in off-white, purple, burgundy, and brown. and the pearls actually go with it.

they look really cute. and my hair is fabulous.

operation "dress-like-an-adult-woman" is going quite well, thankyouverymuch. (and about time, considering i'm only a year and a half from 40.)

stupid people roundup

prominent psychologist and self-help book author collapses in mini-mart after inhaling nitrous from three cans of whipped cream. she's written and lectured on eating disorders and self-esteem. doesn't self-esteem require some sense of dignity? because i'm finding it hard to imagine anything less dignified than snorting nitrous straight from the dairy case at Stop and Shop.

cop from the Village People arrested on drug and weapon charges. nothing i could say would make this any funnier.

woman arrested on child neglect charges; she gave birth after sharing a case of beer with a friend. the baby had to be resuscitated. the interesting part to me: the woman in the story is also an M. Tanner. as is my mother, by marriage. (all three-syllable names, too.) and as it happens, my mother gave birth to me after putting away a bottle of chianti. she was so drunk she had to be sedated. (fortunately, and perhaps surprisingly, i scored a 10 on the Apgar scale, thus demonstrating from the very beginning my freakish talent for acing standardized tests.)

no, as a matter of fact, i don't plan on ever giving birth, drunk or otherwise. sadly, i suspect she must be a distant relation. i know of no connection between my family and the Oklahoma Tanners, but that kind of drunken recklessness is a family tradition that goes back for generations. our family crest ought to include a wino rampant on a field of burgundy.

endlessly looping song of the moment

liars academy, "dying as fast as i can."  (that's my brother on drums! [1] i'm just sayin'!) to hear it, hit this link and select it from the little menu in the upper right. [2]

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