my mother outdoes herself

usually my mother sends me a check for xmas, but every once in a while she sends an actual object, generally some cheap-ass crap she had lying around unsold from her flea market period (i recall a pair of silvertone plastic earrings, for example). this year, she was evidently moved to actually buy me something.

upon opening the fateful box, i was rendered speechless with horror:



the photo flatters it *considerably*. the workmanship is appalling and it's nearly a foot long.

merry xmas, everybody!