magnetic and pantsless

Animal rights activists are resisting Navy plans to ship the dolphins and sea lions to Washington state. They worry that waters in the region, which are about 10 degrees Fahrenheit (6 degrees Celsius) cooler than in San Diego Harbor, could put stress on the animals. They also are concerned diseases could be transmitted to the area's native orca population.

"There are no bottlenose dolphins in these waters for a reason and I would say it's because it's too darn cold," said Seattle-area marine biologist Toni Frohoff.

Protesters showed up at public meetings held by the Navy in the Seattle area to discuss the Navy's plan. Several of them knitted woolly hats and sailor uniforms for the animals as a way of drawing attention to the issue -- costumes that could never actually be worn.

"People contributed some handsome hats, and there's talk of mittens," said Knitting for Dolphins member Janet Bailey.

"We have never trained any Navy marine mammals to do any harming, attacking or stabbing," Navy spokesman Tom LaPuzza said. "We have never done anything like that, and we never will."

• other fightin' marine mammals include Nibbles the rogue elephant seal
  
• Black Eyed Peas' Fergie sends Alanis Morissette a butt-shaped cake (sorry, tongodeon, not goatse-themed)
  
• ever woken up feeling like a a rat crawled into your mouth and died?
  
• man arrested for spray-painting three goats' balls orange. evidently, two of the goats also became ill after eating some porn he left behind in the barn.

• Alistair Cooke's corpse jacked for parts
  
• Bin Laden's neice does racy photo shoot for GQ, says she just wants to be accepted here
  
• Cat recovers from one shooting, only to die from a second -- my first reaction to this was "what kind of asshole shoots a cat?" my second reaction was "what kind of moron lets his cat back out after it's been shot?"
  
• American Family Association pushes xmas gift boycott for next year. i never thought i'd say this about that particular group, but -- good on ya!
  
• how do you make kangaroo meat sound more appetizing? rename it "Australus." am i the only one who thinks "Australus" sounds more like a close cousin of santorum?
  
• Masked crusader nailed for drunk driving. my god, what's the world coming to?
  

one for dglenn:

Moreira, a 32-year-old policeman on leave from the force, said he got the idea when dozens of transvestites showed up for a local samba show.

"It was a real problem. The women didn't feel comfortable having them in the ladies' room, and the men didn't want them in their bathroom either," said Moreira, who is married and the father of two children. "I'm not doing this for my own benefit."

He said the "alternative bathrooms" could also be used by men or women who didn't mind sharing space with transvestites.

one for tongodeon:

"They're making a big deal out of a 15-year-old," she told WAGA-TV in Atlanta. "And I can assure you that he was no victim.

"It's not like they are making it out to be. Actually, I'd told him 'no' several times because I prefer someone older, but he was just so nice and so sweet," she said.

Biasotti worries the display might give others ideas. "Now we're going to get snow penises popping up all over town," he said.

Many scholars, of course, trace the origin of the modern-day yule log to ancient pagan totems to virility and sun-god worship. Is that what Sherer was going for?

"We just did it because we were really bored, and we thought it'd be funny," she said. "It was huge."

• Bill O'Reilly calls for the bombing of San Francisco
  
• woman robs 4 banks while talking on cellphone
  
• new species of lemur named after John Cleese
  
• Jack White claims he's changing his name to "Three Quid" in honor of 50 Cent
  
• Shatner plans Star Trek prequel (er... Enterprise to Bill...)