Mar. 10th, 2002

mountain_laurel: (Default)
i've made it a bit further into Bold in Her Breeches, and the main point of the book seems to be an idea that's near and dear to my heart: female pirates have been romanticized and sexualized by men through the ages because the only way in which most men can find a powerful woman acceptable is as a dominatrix; if a woman's power is used for any purpose but to serve the sexual needs of a man, it's too threatening.

i'm inclined to agree with that theory.

now, my natural impulse here (because i was socialized in the same culture as most other americans) is to qualify the above statement and say "but i really LIKE men, honest!" and "present company excepted" and all those things one is meant to say to soothe the hurt feelings of any men in the audience whose knees have begun jerking spastically as they leap to their feet and shriek "but I'M not like that! not ME! i'm DIFFERENT!"

but i'm not going to do that, not this time. because my own experience bears out the idea that there are very few men in our culture who can cope with the idea of a truly powerful woman unless she's brandishing a whip and ordering them to drop their pants and bend over.

there are men who don't think that way. i know several. maybe more than several, since i don't go around quizzing every guy i meet, and besides, you can't actually trust the answers you get if you ask these questions straightforwardly. very few men will admit to it. after all, they're socialized just as much not to admit to feeling threatened as they are to be threatened by strong women. and it is a matter of socialization, you know. few people can really rise above their cultural programming -- particularly not when they don't have to, and since in our society most women are socialized to go right along with the idea that men are more powerful than we are, most men probably never even think twice about whether they should consider trying to overcome their conviction that strong women are Big Scary Monsters.

so if you're sitting there thinking "i'm not like that!", well, good. i'm thrilled to hear it. especially if it's true.

i'd be very surprised, of course, if any men are reading this and thinking "wow, she's right! that's me to a tee!" and if you are: sorry, i'm not a dominatrix.
mountain_laurel: (Default)
i decided, on the spur of the moment, to go to norwescon this year. i figure, what the hell. i get to see tom and michele and eleanor, and maybe rwx and who knows who else. there'll be interesting panels, there always are. besides, i kind of like hotels. there's something about them i find very soothing. it'll be a nice vacation.

and who knows? maybe i'll meet some guy and manage to have cheap, sweaty sex with him before he catches on that i'm a big scary monster.
mountain_laurel: (Default)
this is definitely my new favorite website: They Fight Crime!

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