observations

this morning, while i was parking in a garage in Pacific Heights, i watched a woman spend several minutes painstakingly squeezing her Ford Explorer into a space marked "COMPACT ONLY". a moment later, she discovered the space was so tight she couldn't open her door to get out.

as i left the garage, she was painstakingly maneuvering her way back out of the space. that's poetic justice if i've ever seen it.

on my way back out of the city, i ended up stopped in traffic, as i always do, next to a tiny parklet near the intersection of Van Ness and Market. it consists of a tree surrounded by concrete with a couple of park benches, and is mostly inhabited by drug dealers and pigeons. while i waited for traffic to clear, i watched what must have been a male pigeon trying to impress a female. he'd puff out his chest, spread out his tailfeathers, and invade her personal space. she'd scurry away, and he'd chase her down, lull her into a false sense of security, and do it all over again.

this just goes to show that there's not so much difference between pigeons and people after all.

i stopped at Safeway on the way home and picked up some nice fresh avocados and an absurdly cheerful bouquet of bright yellow flowers. by the holy claws of Klortho the magnificent, it is INDEED a fine morning!

brilliant ideas, x in a series of y

last night, a woman i know was talking about this guy she's been sleeping with, off and on, since she was 16. (she's 40 now.) she was saying that she feels horrible because the guy is married and has kids, but something about him is just so compelling she's never been able to say no to him. he'll be in the area in a couple of months, and she's afraid she's going to succumb again. she commented that at least she's got some power in the relationship, because she could tell his family any time she wants, and it would ruin his life.

i suggested she kill two birds with one stone, by planting an exploding dye packet in her panties. she laughed, but i'm pretty sure she won't really do it.

sims report

swisscheesed asked for it, so...

a new woman moved into town a few days ago, and what a vamp! her name is Cio-Cio-San, and the whole neighborhood is atwitter. she threw a big housewarming party, and eveyrone was impressed with her house, decorated in the Japanese style with rice paper screens and woodblock prints. her hostess skills couldn't be faulted either -- she made sure the food kept coming all night, and soon after dinner, everyone was having a great time playing Charades.

Vera (who, while still feeling uncertain about her feelings, has moved in with Migraine to save on rent) noticed that Sebastian seemed rather taken with Cio-Cio, but of course it wasn't her business to say anything. sure enough, as she was out for a walk the next evening, she saw Sebastian going into Cio-Cio's house.

Sebastian spent each of the next few evenings with Cio-Cio. she served all his favorite foods and played chess with him, but always sent him home before midnight. he was just beginning to wonder where the relationship was going, when one night she began flirting with him. he was instantly smitten! if he'd been a computer-animated character, a big red heart would have appeared above his head. still, though, she sent him home before midnight without so much as a kiss.

the next evening, he decided to impress her with some of his own home cooking, so he invited her over. things didn't go as smoothly as he'd planned. just as she was arriving, Steve, one of the slackers from down the street showed up. Sebastian didn't think much of him with his long blond hair and aspirations to rock-stardom, but he didn't want to say anything in front of Cio-Cio. so at first, he was secretly pleased when she began to tease Steve, and even sneaked up behind him and scared him half out of his wits.

he wasn't so happy when she actually insulted Steve and then slapped him, and Steve walked off in a huff. still, perhaps she was only hungry. before he could invite her into the kitchen to chat while he cooked, though, she turned on him and made a rude comment. he hugged her and promised his home-cooked salisbury steak would improve her mood, and so she came inside with him.

she seemed to like his cooking well enough, but when she was finished eating, she left her plate on the floor. while he was cleaning up, she went outside and wandered around his yard, kicking his lawn flamingoes. and a few minutes later, as he was trying to make conversation, she suddenly announced that she was bored, and she was going home!

he's still smitten, but now he's not sure what to think. could she perhaps be playing hard-to-get?