so angry

why the fucking fuck don't we have nationalized healthcare in this country? where the hell is the logic in the idea that the people who need insurance most can't get it, or can't afford it? why are my friends and i forced to take a job, any job, to get healthcare, even if it's at the expense of our careers or our personal lives? with this system, it's no wonder that a friend is being accused by her boss of taking her job just for the insurance.

i'm about to get on the phone and find out just exactly how painfully much individual insurance will cost me, to see if it would turn the well-paid contract i interviewed for yesterday into an insufficiently-paid contract. it will certainly be costing me more than i pay for my medications each month, but since this company wouldn't be able to hire me permanently for at least a few months, it's not really feasible for me to go without insurance in the interim -- assuming they offer me the job, and assuming i take it. it looks like fun, but i have some questions about the company's financial stability. so we shall see.

goddammit, health insurance should not be my primary concern in choosing my next career move. the job should be. this is just so wrong and fucked and stupid i could spit. hell, maybe i will spit.

a slightly edited version

of something i wrote a long time ago, but which still resonates for me:

( social rules for the excruciatingly shy )

well, isn't that special

Blue Cross just told me they won't sell me insurance because i haven't been stable on the same medications for 12 months. well, isn't that just a simple way to avoid having to cover anyone with depression, since who the hell do you know who's being treated for depression who's been stable on the same meds for 12 months?

now i have to figure out what my other options might be. it's amazingly difficult to find understandable and trustworthy info about this on the web. mostly i get insurance company websites.

sigh. it's looking like even if they offer me this contract, i won't be able to take it.

update: after calling around some more, i've determined that it may be possible for me to continue my coverage with my current insurance at a rate double what i'm paying now. that would actually be doable if i get the contract job. there's also the option of going with Kaiser's HIPAA program, which wouldn't cover my psychiatrist at all since she's out of network, but would at least ensure that i'd have coverage for other stuff. they weren't able to tell me how much it would cost yet, though -- they'd have to do a medical review.

still waiting for a call back from the blue cross rep on what their HIPAA options are like.

god, what a dreary way to spend a day.

jesus fucking christ

the world is just raining shit all over lately. a bay area woman was set up by an unknown person who posted a personal ad looking for someone to fulfill a rape fantasy. luckily, she wasn't home when the guy turned up.

but jesus christ. this could happen to any of us, at any time. and that scares the living shit out of me.

ok, it's just one of those days when i post a lot, i guess.

bitty earthquake just now -- i wouldn't have even felt it had i been sitting on a padded surface, i don't think. i felt a little shaking and heard the building creak.

i have to admit that i find earthquakes kind of neat. same with fires, hurricanes, and other natural disasters. naturally i feel terrible for people who are injured or killed or lose their homes. i don't mean to minimize the seriousness of these things.

but i still get a kick out of it whenever nature asserts her mastery over us. big storms thrill me. when the power goes out or the roads are impassable, i think it's a fun adventure. i never feel inconvenienced by these things, i just light some candles and pick up some more gas for the grill. i'm always so surprised when people grumble about minor inconveniences caused by power outages or snowstorms. doesn't anyone remember how great it felt to have a snow day when you were a kid?

this made me laugh out loud

Numenorean


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