oh god, i'm so depressed.

met today with the woman at the employment agency that got me my first few low-level tech writing gigs. she said she hasn't seen a tech writing job in a while, but will make sure i'm also considered for clerical stuff and anything else my skills might suit.

submitted my resume to several more recruiters i dug up today, plus sent it out on five job listings, three of which were pretty stale, but hey, i'm desperate.

i don't care what they say about the economy getting better. i'm seeing even fewer job listings than i was three months ago. there's fucking nothing out there. the more i think about it, the more i think there is simply no way i'm going to be able to keep this apartment. (how i'll cover the cost when i inevitably have to break my lease, i do not know. but i'll worry about that after i worry about where the fucking fuck i'm going to go.)

at least i don't have a migraine today. i'm swimming with sheer abject terror, but it's slightly less unpleasant without the dizziness and nausea.

i'm so scared. so fucking scared.