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May. 3rd, 2004
the big one
May. 3rd, 2004 05:08 pmyes, 10.5 is just as bad as advertised, for those wondering. the opening sequence, in which a guy on a BMX bike "quake-surfs", bouncing off suddenly-vertical sections of road as Seattle is destroyed around him, had me howling with laughter. the only thing he didn't jump was a shark, but they almost made up for it by dropping the Space Needle on him. (and yes, they do have him try to outrun it as it falls. of course. naturally.)
the science is so bad a third-grader could point out the mistakes. the acting is beyond awful -- this is one of those movies that's going to be a liability to the careers of the entire cast. the effects are mostly 1970's grade, especially the toy train falling into a huge crevasse that occurs when the earthquake ferchrissakes chases the train down the tracks. they've hit every cliche and stereotype of the genre. they've even got rutger hauer as some sort of crazed mercenary who kills anyone who looks at him funny. i'd include more details only i had so many margaritas with Shirley and Warren last night that it's all sort of a sludgy green-tinged fog, smelling vaguely of lime and triple sec.
caveat: so far it hasn't turned out that the maverick scientist's superiors are ignoring her brilliant theory because they're in the pocket of some evil corporate overlords. but i'm sure that'll happen in tonight's episode, shortly thereafter to be followed by the revelation that said evil corporate overlords somehow caused the quakes with some sort of crazy project that will enable them to TAKE OVER THE WORLD, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
at least they didn't put glasses on Kim Delaney. (whose character is named "Sam Hill", as in "what in Sam Hill were they thinking?") and i was both disappointed and astounded to see not a single mention of Alan Smithee in the credits.
anyway, i just read a news article marveling at the high ratings the first episode got, but of course those ratings don't tell you how much of the audience was only watching for the drinking game.
the science is so bad a third-grader could point out the mistakes. the acting is beyond awful -- this is one of those movies that's going to be a liability to the careers of the entire cast. the effects are mostly 1970's grade, especially the toy train falling into a huge crevasse that occurs when the earthquake ferchrissakes chases the train down the tracks. they've hit every cliche and stereotype of the genre. they've even got rutger hauer as some sort of crazed mercenary who kills anyone who looks at him funny. i'd include more details only i had so many margaritas with Shirley and Warren last night that it's all sort of a sludgy green-tinged fog, smelling vaguely of lime and triple sec.
caveat: so far it hasn't turned out that the maverick scientist's superiors are ignoring her brilliant theory because they're in the pocket of some evil corporate overlords. but i'm sure that'll happen in tonight's episode, shortly thereafter to be followed by the revelation that said evil corporate overlords somehow caused the quakes with some sort of crazy project that will enable them to TAKE OVER THE WORLD, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
at least they didn't put glasses on Kim Delaney. (whose character is named "Sam Hill", as in "what in Sam Hill were they thinking?") and i was both disappointed and astounded to see not a single mention of Alan Smithee in the credits.
anyway, i just read a news article marveling at the high ratings the first episode got, but of course those ratings don't tell you how much of the audience was only watching for the drinking game.