intermittent thundershowers throughout the afternooon

suddenly it becomes clear to me: i've made my apartment into a perfect representation of my own interior, and the filth i allow to cover everything is the same filth i grew up in, the same filth i've been drowning in all my life, the filth that was heaped there by people to whom i was practically invisible, people who were so concerned with their own drama that i was nothing but a distraction, an irritant, a burden, a curse. away from my family's midden, i've made my own mess and buried myself in it.

even as the floodgates crack and emotions burst through, i stand aside and view myself with a cynical eye. you're not really that upset, i tell myself. look at you, pacing up and down the apartment like a tragic figure or something. it's all for show, isn't it? you're just a drama queen. and those icy words freeze the flood in its tracks, fill the holes in the dam and fight back the torrent. see how easily you banish it? it's nothing. an exaggeration to excuse your pathetic state. you imagined it all. it isn't real. grow up and get over your need to be pitied, you worthless piece of shit. you're breathing easier already. save the angst for another time, when you have witnesses. there's a good girl. now get back to your puerile romantic fantasies, and don't wake me up again unless it's important.

and with that unplanned but timely release, the waters begin to recede. even so, i can feel the walls creak from the pressure.

o frabjous day

Young Blades is the most hilariously awful series since "Love Boat: The Next Wave." i absolutely adore it. the fake ponytails! the dreadful scripts! the legendary bad acting of Bruce Boxleitner, showcased against a backdrop of classic Michael Ironside brooding! as bad TV goes, this is the pinnacle. swashbuckling, romance, banter, intrigue, and genderfuck, all in one delicious and yet family-friendly little package! dglenn will especially adore it. it is pure, unadulterated candyfloss -- the kind full of carcinogenic artificial colors and flavors that leaves your tongue stained blue for days.

i give it TWO thumbs up the ass. it could only be improved by the addition of one's intoxicant of choice.