something i've never told people before

during a chat with boutell just now, i mentioned calling in to my local NPR station to recommend a favorite book and found myself thinking about the last time i called in to a radio show. i shall now confess one of my most shameful secrets:

when i was 14, i had an alter-ego on Don Geronimo's morning show on WPGC called "Sister Disco." i talked like mae west and was sort of a mini-regular -- i got on every once in a while with a joke or a song request. at the time, i thought i was being supercool. looking back, i realize that the only reason he put me on the air was to mock me. dear god, i was such a dork.

as far as i can recall, i have never actually confessed this to anyone.

and now you know.

all about abe

i must thank tongodeon for pointing me to the Abe Vigoda status plugin for Firefox. when you install it, a tiny indicator appears on the far right of your browser's status bar that keeps you constantly updated on whether Abe Vigoda is still alive.

see the author's homepage for more extensive documentation of this valuable tool.

not so much a rut as a canyon

it should be pretty clear to anyone who's paying attention that i'm in the mother of all ruts and have been for years now. i make the occasional halfassed attempt at change, but it never seems to stick. i'm starting to think that the only way for me to get out of it is to make a major change in my life. something really big. like... say... moving.

yeah, yeah, i know. you've been saying that for years now, some of you at least. but it's an incredibly difficult decision for me. on the one hand, it would undoubtedly be good for me to move into an urban environment. someplace i could actually walk to things. i'd get out more. i'd get exercise. i'd meet people. all those things i really need.

on the other hand, i've been in my place for 10 years. it's home to me in a way that no place has ever been. and i love Pacifica. i love being able to look out the window and see the ocean. i love the quirkiness of the place. it's really comfortable. and that's important to me.

i've also never lived in an urban environment, ever. even when i lived in Charlotte, i was in a neighborhood of 50s vintage tract homes, on a windy little tree-lined street with a stream running down behind the houses. i could walk to the Giant Genie for groceries, but it wasn't what you'd call "urban".

i fear change. that much is obvious. it's part of the rut. and how long has it been since you left a place you'd lived for 10 years or more as an adult? getting out of your parents' house for the first time is big, but it's a whole different thing having to leave a place that you chose as a grownup and have made your own and grown accustomed to. it's a big deal.

i don't know if i'm brave enough yet to do this. (and i don't know if i can afford it.) maybe it's just my usual springtime urge -- i get homesick for DC, start thinking about other places i've lived, and feel vaguely dissatisfied with where i am. i do it every year. suddenly, everywhere looks better than where i am.

until, of course, i look out the window. the ocean has a pull for me like nothing else on earth. i need to be near it. yeah, of course if i lived in the city i could go to the ocean trivially. it's the N-Judah line, right? or you can take the shuttle from Golden Gate Park.

but i wouldn't be able to look out the window and see it. it wouldn't be there to greet me in the morning and lull me to sleep at night. and it's so hard to think about leaving that. so hard.

of course, i could always move back to Pacifica if i miss it too much. it's not like there aren't always vacancies. Pacifica appeals to a particular sort of person. most people who move here don't stay long. the ones who do never leave.

it's hard to think about this. it makes my head feel all prickly and hot. and i shouldn't think about it at all until my tax situation is all settled and my finances have stabilized.

but i think it's something i need to do. at least if i want a life bigger than 670 square feet.

the cat came back on the very next day

i've been following the news stories about the controversy in Wisconsin over whether it should be legal to shoot "free-roaming cats" (defined as "any domestic cat that isn't under the owner's direct control or any cat without a collar"). as you might expect, i'm horrified by the idea. proponents are using the argument that feral cats kill birds, but as reported in Science Daily, even the Audobon Society opposes the idea, stating that humans are the most serious threat to birds due to destruction of habitats, air and water pollution, pesticides, and collisions with buildings, towers, and wind turbines. claims that feral cats constitute a rabies hazard are also false; 36 people died of rabies in the US between 1990 and 2001, but none of these cases could be connected to cats.

however, something in the same article made me laugh out loud:

"You can't go out and kill a bunch of cats and just assume that they're not going to come back," Frohman said.

When an area is cleared of a colony of cats, neighboring cats will move in and rapidly re-colonize the territory, a phenomenon known as the "vacuum effect." According to the Messybeast Cat Resource Archive, a not-for-profit collection of feline information based in Britain, each generation of cats that repopulates an area will be smarter and faster than the last, making them even more of a threat to local wildlife.

Frohman cited a case in Newburyport, Mass., where 200 cats were removed from the area. Two years later, there were 200 cats.

yep, that sounds about right.

addendum: suddenly, it all becomes clear: "dark matter" is made of cats!