bumper sticker of the day

thoughts for the day

in the process of writing a response to someone else's lj entry, i managed to articulate some of my feelings on the whole personality disorder issue in a way that's reasonably coherent, so i thought i'd toss the relevant bits out there for consideration.

i'm not sure i really see the value in getting an Official Diagnosis -- in the end, most personality disorders are treated the same way, with medication and therapy, so what's the difference? what matters is to be aware of what your personal issues are, and to make an effort to deal with them. some may be irreparable, so you have to just accept them and learn how to work around them; others may be things you can fix over time. you have to figure out which is which and do what you can, and Making The Effort is really the most important thing.

in a way, personality disorders are like horoscopes -- you can see a little bit of yourself in all of them, so it's easy to go "hey, that's ME!" i'm reminded of the time a former friend of mine diagnosed herself with social phobia because she felt nervous about talking to people. she conveniently glossed over the part where people with social phobia have that to a degree that makes it impossible for them to face that fear and talk to people anyway. she was in sales. she used to talk us into private parties at nightclubs all the time. SO not social phobic. likewise, my ex-husband once told me he was manic-depressive, and he knew this because sometimes he was really happy, and sometimes he was really sad.

welcome to the human condition. jeez.

so like i said, at some point you just have to throw your hands in the air and say "who cares what you call it?" and get on with things. you can't live your life constantly navel-gazing and picking your every act apart wondering if it was healthy or not, because that in itself becomes an unhealthy behavior. the extreme self-consciousness that comes from being deemed Officially Crazy can make things worse if you let it.

not that i'm some paragon of emotional health. actually, i think that constant "am i being crazy" navel-gazing is my single worst symptom these days. that and my astounding ability to rationalize my procrastination as "self-care." or maybe i just feel irrational guilt about caring for myself and write it off as an unhealthy behavior...

see what i mean? it's a slippery slope, baby, and you gotta keep your eyes on the top, not the bottom, if you're going to do better than just hanging in there.

and, with that irksomely glib slogan, i conclude today's lecture.

in which i am mighty

so, after visits to Target (where i got cute pajamas on clearance!) and Home Depot (there's one right at Woodward and 35, i don't even have to get on the access road!) i triumphantly returned home with... a bunch of stuff. in the last half-hour i've installed a solid ceiling hook from which to hang my handy sock-and-underwear organizer, fixed the lampshade on the bedroom ceiling fan, replaced the showerhead, repaired a loose drawer roller, and glued and clamped the two splitting drawer bits in the kitchen. if i can maintain momentum, i'll clean the kitchen cabinets, inside and out, with soap and water. i've got contact paper to put down when they're dry, and the outer layer of plywood is actually kind of pretty, and should look much nicer once i apply furniture polish.

i have to wait for full daylight to replace the dining room light fixture, since i can't see to work. but i bought a nice heavy duty stepstool so i can do it without breaking my neck. i forgot to pick up a new drain stopper thingy for the bathroom sink, and i still need to take down the plastic from the kitchen light fixture and measure it so i can get more, at which time i can pick up some anchor bolts for fixing its wooden frame. i talked to the landlord and he said he'll make sure the disintegrating shelves get replaced reasonably soon. (he feels guilty because the workmen still haven't done the work he ordered in the bathroom, but since that's all relatively unimportant i don't really care. i think they were going to paint the bathtub -- i'm going to ask him not to have that done because i don't understand why you'd do that in the first place -- and put up new towel hangers. whee.)

oh, and i forgot to pick up a new cover plate to replace the missing one on the kitchen light switch. but i've got all my cleaning supplies rounded up now, so once i'm done with the cabinets i can do the counters and the floors. one of the screens in the kitchen has a cat-sized tear, so i'll have to ask bquinlan to fix that (since he foolishly told me he knows how), and i still need to work out how i'm going to wedge them from outside so the cats can't push them out of the frames. oh, and the knob on the front door needs replacing, but that's another thing i can easily do myself.

there's about a four-inch chunk of kitchen linoleum torn up in front of the fridge... i'm not sure what i'll do about that yet. it's hardly worth demanding they replace the whole floor, and i sure as hell don't want to do it. i suppose it's not really important.

i think that's about it, although i'd be obliged if anyone can tell me how one might go about cleaning the world's filthiest miniblinds. they replaced all but one set -- i assume because this set still works fine -- but holy SHIT they're dirty.

oh yeah, and i gotta remember to get a toilet brush when i'm at Ikea tomorrow. (who's with me? come on, is it even possible to spend too much time at Ikea?) why i didn't drop the whopping 99 cents on one last time, i do not know, but i refuse to pay a premium for a fancy toilet brush. i mean, honestly.

urgh

i managed to scrub almost half of the cabinets before my arm gave out. damn, they're filthy. but those were the ones around the stove, so the rest shouldn't be as bad.