the Victim Triangle

tongodeon posted a particularly nifty link in tongodeon_links: The Faces of Victim.

it's a fascinating article. it actually did a fine job of clarifying some of the trouble i've been having with socializing -- i think i've been subconsciously avoiding the people around me because i'm so terrified of being sucked back into that vortex.

it was interesting to think about how i've progressed on the continuum as well -- i grew up a Victim, shifted into Persecutor, and then got drawn back into Victim as i started to encounter Rescuer types. in the last few years i've found myself stepping over into Rescuer myself periodically, probably as a way of countering the guilt i feel over having spent most of my life as either Victim or Persecutor, even though it feels false to me because i'm far too self-aware to delude myself that i actually care that much about most people.

(let's just leave the discussion of how close i see myself to borderline personality disorder for another day. my last therapist insisted that one of the hallmarks of that particular disorder is lacking the capacity to be sufficiently self-aware to see it in oneself, but i always found that statement a bit glib. the patterns of my past relationships are pretty damning. but i wasn't going to talk about that right now.)

i think now i'm at a point where i've been trying valiantly to step off the triangle, but the only way i know how to do it is by disengaging completely from other people. except that because i don't know how to keep my mouth shut, i put myself back on it, somewhere between Victim and Persecutor, by bitching about how much i hate Rescuers.

unfortunately, the article doesn't really offer much insight into where to go from here.

also

today's award for 'most gratuitous humor' goes to CNN: Bank branch bandit wears tree disguise.