mountain_laurel | what's wrong with this picture?

this is the kind of story that makes my eyes bleed:

Scott McAlpin stalked, harassed and threatened his former girlfriend for three years, once even carrying her down the street in an attempted kidnapping until someone maced him, authorities say.

On Monday, the 24-year-old El Sobrante man was accused of murdering his ex-girlfriend, Anastasia Melnitchenko, 21, of San Francisco, and stuffing her body in the trunk of his Honda Civic.

U.S. Park Police found him beside the car at the Marin Headlands on Sunday, retching from what he told officers was a night of vodka drinking.

At the time of his arrest, McAlpin had eight prior felony convictions, all for domestic violence, and had been in and out of jail -- as recently as last week -- yet had never been sentenced to state prison.

why the fuck not? how the fuck many times did he have to threaten and/or attack her before they believed he was dangerous? how the fuck many more people have to die before the police start taking domestic violence seriously?

too many people -- male, female, adults, children, seniors -- have been failed by the system. it's better than it was when i was a kid, but it's not good enough when violent stalkers are repeatedly let off easy so they can go back and threaten their victims again, or worse yet, kill them. it's not good enough when friends, family, and neighbors remain silent because they don't want to make trouble for the abuser and rationalize away what's happening to the victim. it's not good enough when the government doesn't allocate enough funding for Social Services to adequately do their job.

this is a good, gender-blind site about domestic violence. read it. recognize anybody? do something.

things you can do to help:

if you see or hear abuse don't just sit there, call the police. you figure someone else must have called already? so what? make sure. make the call.
speak to the victim. ask them about what you think is happening. let them know they can talk to you and that you're willing to help. be someone they can trust, someone they can call if they're afraid or hurt.
if they're an adult, encourage them to leave. offer to help -- abuse victims are usually depressed and have been repeatedly told they can't make it on their own, and that sinks in. hand-hold them through the whole process if you have to. find them a shelter or a safe place to stay. (note that if you're a man helping a woman, you may need to get a woman to find the shelter for you -- womens' shelters tend to be extremely cautious about revealing their location.) help them pack up their things. drive them to the shelter. keep reminding them that they deserve better. keep reminding them that when they wake up in the shelter the next morning, their abuser won't be there. encourage them to think about how good that will feel, and about what they'd like to do on their own.
if they're a kid, call social services. make sure somebody comes out. make sure they actually talk to the child. talk to the social worker yourself. tell them what you know.
donate money, clothing, or time to your local domestic violence shelter(s) and/or hotline.

do something. make a difference in someone's life.