i take up the soiled gauntlet

ithurtsmybrain is a community dedicated to imagining, and then creating, the worst possible fanfic pairings. not necessarily romantic/sexual, mind you. people make suggestions, the moderator posts a list, and everyone has at. entries are usually short, only a few paragraphs. that's about all anyone can stand of, say, Johnny Five (Short Circuit)/Sawyer (Lost). i don't recommend following that link, by the way. i made it partway in and fled in horror.

i took a shot at #266: Hannibal Lecter/Julian Bashir. no sex, i promise. just a little chat between colleagues.

of course, the one i really want to do is #60: Willy Wonka/Dorian Gray/Spider Jerusalem. i just don't think i can do it justice.

office conversations

recently the teams were encouraged to decorate their areas. we're not sure why. we're also not sure why the box of stuff our group received included a disco ball, inflatable musical instruments, a curtain of plastic lei-style flowers, two piñatas, one of which is shaped like a 50s jukebox, a bunch of plastic fake records with goofy 50s-style names on them, black cardboard musical notes, and a couple of strings of Christmas lights. nevertheless, we gamely hung it all up, with some help from my boss' kids.

a few minutes ago, the following conversation occurred:

Dave: What the hell is with this mishmash of stuff anyway?
Audrey: I think they're trying to send the message that we're random and confused and don't know where we're going.
Dave: What do they expect when they give us a 50s disco Christmas luau?
Me: Aw, come on, what doesn't work for you about a Mexican 50s disco Christmas luau? It makes perfect sense.
Audrey: I'm glad it makes sense to somebody.
Larry: Oh hey, somebody put up the disco ball. Does it spin?
Dave: Sure, if you want to climb on a chair and spin it by hand.
Larry: What we need is a spotlight. I could go steal one from the lobby. And a fog machine.
Dave: Flog machine? What's a flog machine?
Larry: FOG machine. You know, it makes fog. Though now that you mention it, public floggings aren't a bad idea either.
Me: That would fit right in with the rest of the decor.
Larry: Yeah, then it'll be an S&M Mexican 50s -- what came after that?
Me: 50s Christmas luau.
Larry: Yeah, that. An S&M Mexican 50s disco Christmas luau.
Me: I still think you should work pirates in there somehow.
Larry: Now, that's just silly.

i am going to miss this place.

dude.

from an AP report dated December of last year:

Dude, you've got to read this. A linguist from the University of Pittsburgh has published a scholarly paper deconstructing and deciphering the word "dude," contending it is much more than a catchall for lazy, inarticulate surfers, skaters, slackers and teenagers.

dude! it's about time academia gave props to the lazy, inarticulate slackers of the world.

on the other hand, uh, dude?

Dude began its rise in the teenage lexicon with the 1981 movie "Fast Times at Ridgemont High."

"Dude" also shows no signs of disappearing as more and more of our culture becomes youth-centered, said Mary Bucholtz, an associate professor of linguistics at the University of California, Santa Barbara.

"I have seen middle-aged men using 'dude' with each other," she said.

well, DUH. "Fast Times" came out 24 years ago. which would tend to make its original audience -- sorry, dudes, i'm right there with you -- middle-aged.