oh, and did i mention

[mountain_laurel]

tomorrow is the anniversary of C. leaving. six years since i came home from a role-playing session and found his Sparc 10, his clothes, and his toothbrush gone, the bank account looted, and a note sitting on a chair that said "check your email". the email contained the Dear Jane letter.

every year around this date i get really stressed out and anxious. of course, i didn't get to talk about that in group on Monday, because OG was too busy whining about her travails with the goddamn phone company. because, you know, in a relationship group, it's much more important to bitch about the phone company than it is to discuss lingering trauma from past relationships, right?

yes, it is true. i am in an utterly, completely, and in fact unabashedly vile mood.

Comments

[figmo.livejournal.com]

Ow. I still remember the next day when you came into work. Then your car went, and that sonofabitch bastard had reamed you financially and tried to ream you spiritually.

You have every right to be in a vile mood.

[swisscheesed.livejournal.com]

Me too, but that's because I just read this (http://www.livejournal.com/users/10dimensions/199798.html?thread=730742#t730742) and found her other comment in a locked entry that the other person "up her dosage."

I found all of that to be incredibly offensive (and told her so), even though it doesn't involve me directly. It's not even about the paxil anymore, it's about some people being so goddamned *smug*.

[merde.livejournal.com]

yeah. as a matter of fact, shortly after the shit hit the fan with the whole nerdsholm situation, i got a charming email from a certain person that read, "Take it from a doctor -- you need your meds adjusted."

very professional, eh?

[swisscheesed.livejournal.com]

I think that is the most abomidable thing you can say to a person who _is_ on medication. I would not be able to forgive such a transgression.

The only response you can give is "Fuck you."

[merde.livejournal.com]

i didn't even dignify it with a response.

[swisscheesed.livejournal.com]

P.S. *HUGS*. What a complete jerk-off.

question about group therapy

[2wanda.livejournal.com]

Does your group therapy have a professional mediator? If so, then why does this person not direct OG to both stay on topic, and not dominate the group? If it were me, I'd talk to the mediator about the problem. If there isn't one, then I'd probably find a group that has a professionally trained group leader.

I know that sometimes the leaders have a hard time steering people in the group because they are afraid to hurt people's feelings. The leader that was in my daughter's group at the rehab center did a really good job of gently steering the group so that everyone got a chance to share. That's what group therapy is all about, after all.

Why, after 6 years, does it affect you so?

[(Anonymous)]

Sometimes Things Happen. Chalk them up as life experiences and focus on what's in the now and how you can be a better person tomorrow rather than letting the past eat you alive.

Re: Why, after 6 years, does it affect you so?

[merde.livejournal.com]

golly. thanks for that helpful hint. because if you hadn't posted, it would never have even occurred to me to try to forget about it.

that's sarcasm, in case you're too dense to recognize it.

we all get over things in our own way, in our own time, for our own reasons. aside from the rudeness of posting anonymous "helpful hints" in people's livejournals, it's really pretty damn asinine to offer this sort of facile advice to someone who's struggling with an issue that they would obviously prefer to be done with. it's pretty much on a par with telling someone with severe clinical depression to "snap out of it".

i believe swisscheesed would say that the correct response is simply: "fuck you."

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

I have a question for you: Is your condition... painful?

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

First, big hugs.

Second, would it be possible for you to confront OG in group, and tell her exactly what you tell us about how her behavior makes you feel? Including that you are seriously thinking of leaving group because of it?

I'm thinking that the confrontation might be good for both you and her. For you because - speaking out is an act of taking power and is sometimes even effective in getting needs heard and met. For her because - well, your group leader probably mentioned something about how therapy group members play the same roles in group that they do in their lives, right? So if she is acting this way in group, she is acting this way in life, and that probably has something do do with why she has the troubles that she does. She really, really, really needs to have this behavior confronted, and be asked the question of how this kind of behavior affects her real world life.

[dmk.livejournal.com]

Good advice from all; I'll just add some (hugs).