fuckin' A, baby

[mountain_laurel]

i have achieved a (relatively) svelte 48-36-45, and still shrinking. considering that at my peak i was running about 55-47-55, and the smallest i can be reasonably expected to get is 44-32-42, i'm feeling extremely pleased with life this morning. four more inches! four more inches!

of course, just in case, i've still got that pair of green tie-dyed jeans (men's Levis, 32x32) that i let people write on at a con ~20 years ago. [1] (some of you may even remember these jeans. they say "MINE" across the seat in great big letters. what was that chick's name again? the really hot one John Randolph was dating who blew up her neighbors' dog and stole their horse?) hey, i squeezed into them five years ago, for a brief shining moment. it could happen again!

but only if the monkeys fly out of my butt. they take up a certain amount of space.

[1] can you believe, i actually thought i was fat when i wore those jeans? fat! i mean, i looked in the mirror and saw rolls of fat. at 5'6", 145 lbs., wearing a DD cup, with a very large frame. (they measure the width of your elbow joint. i forget what the scale is, but the doctor said i have the largest measurement on the womens' scale. Hulk SMASH!) gee, thanks, mom and dad! without you, i might have thought i was a normal size or something!

Comments

[terriblebeast.livejournal.com]

Yay! Can you fit into that sweater I sent you yet?

[merde.livejournal.com]

if i make it to size 12, i may be able to get away with it. right now, it won't stretch enough to encompass my womdigious hooters.

god, i love the sweater so much! i want to wear the sweater! i still can't fucking believe you found the sweater! it's just so weird....

[terriblebeast.livejournal.com]

I just HAD to get it for you...it's so perfect!

[richtermom.livejournal.com]

Wow. Congrats!!

I'm not as optimistic as you. I think I threw out all my not-fat-lady-elastic-waist jeans in the Big Scouring last month. I found a bunch of 31, 32 and 33 inch waists.

And a huge bunch of size 10 things that fit me for about 36 hours in 1993.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm just finally blinded to any alternatives or if I really am doing something normal, but while my clothes aren't fitting SUBSTANTIALLY looser (the good thing about elastic is that it's forgiving, the bad thing is also that it's forgiving) the past few photos I've seen of myself don't make me cringe and vomit. Progressive resistance training featuring a TODDLER.

[hwrnmnbsol.livejournal.com]

I've heard of 'junk in the trunk', but I didn't think that referred to monkeys. Every day I'm learning.

Yay you!

[eejitalmuppet.livejournal.com]

I'm torn between offering congratulations and demanding pictures of the svelte you...

[scothen-krau.livejournal.com]

I can hear the ad now: "Are you troubled by monkeys in your butt?"

[dianec42.livejournal.com]

Dude, I thought I was fat in high school at 122 pounds. I'm not sure you can blame your parents for 100% of that. If that helps.

Oh yeah, pictures, we want pictures...

[madbodger.livejournal.com]

I think she's blaming her parents for making her think she was fat when she wasn't.

[dianec42.livejournal.com]

I was just trying to say, it's not necessarily *just* her parents that do such things.

[richtermom.livejournal.com]

I thought I was fat in GRADE SCHOOL at 120 lbs. Freaky thing is, I have a photo taken during prep for my eight grade graduation, and I did look really dumpy. Gotta LOVE adolescence.

Then, of course, I thought I was fat at 130 lbs in my early 20s.

so of course, after seeing my most recent photos, I figure I'm close enough to Just Fine at 168 lbs. Fuck the fashion industry's portrayal of Women as Clotheshangars. My body WORKS.

[matrushkaka.livejournal.com]

Woohoo!

[dianec42.livejournal.com]

what was that chick's name again? the really hot one John Randolph was dating who blew up her neighbors' dog and stole their horse?

Damn you! This is going to drive me crazy now. I used to know this one...

[madbodger.livejournal.com]

I think it was Beth Bishop. I think garnet_rattler may have a way to get in touch
with her.

[dianec42.livejournal.com]

I was thinking it might have been one of the many Beths. I really don't feel the urge to get in touch though.

Beth..

[l-ash.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that was probably Beth! She was the one who (also) used to grab your legs like a groupie when you played~ I was hanging out with John's cousin at the time, and I can remember the two of you telling me that she was INSANE~

Sorry for that detour~

Louisa
****

Re: Beth..

[dglenn.livejournal.com]

And last I checked, she was living next door to my mother. I found it a little unsettling to discover that "the crazy lady who moved in next door" that my mom had been complaining about was someone I knew. But it did give me a channce to drop by and catch up a bit.

Re: Beth..

[(Anonymous)]

Uh.. She *was* kinda nice to me.. Even if she did seem to be a bit .. insane *** So how's she doing???

Re: Beth..

[merde.livejournal.com]

oh, she's certainly able to be nice. i enjoyed hanging out with her. well, except for the period where she decided she was a lesbian, and in love with me. that was kind of strange. (then again, there was also that supercute redhead chick who lived near marq. she also thought i'd be a good person to try out her lesbian phase on. and then Terri... you know, now that i think of it, i'm a hot chick MAGNET! a shame i'm too straight to appreciate it fully.)

it's just that she's also insane. very insane. you know how they say you should never sleep with anyone who's crazier than you? well, i won't even hang out with someone crazier than me, because goddammit, that's just way too fucking crazy.

Re: Beth..

[l-ash.livejournal.com]

Hi.. I am, actually, wondering (in general) about how she's doing.. I'm living in NY, and not too affected by the DC fannish community right now.. but just curious!!

[merde.livejournal.com]

ding! that's the one.

get in touch with her? are you fucking kidding me? i'd like to stay as far away from her as humanly possible, if you don't mind.

[jbsegal.livejournal.com]

I'll add my voice: JPG! JPG!

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Go you...

And my parents are similar. They were on my case when I weighed 111 lbs as a late teen. I look back now at photos of me then, and wonder why I couldn't see how lovely I was.